For over forty years as a Children’s Advocate and reading the abundant research in corporal punishment, at last here is an extraordinary book filled with children’s writings and drawings expressing their feelings on being treated violently. We adults tend to suppress how it feels to be slapped and spanked, yet the majority of U.S. kids are so treated. More than one page of this book brought tears to my eyes.
In my research I have found Zero psychological and philosophical justification for punishing children in any way, much less in hitting them. So 45 years ago my wife and children and I together found ways to eliminate all forms of punishment in our home. In my book “Parenting Without Punishing” I show how, with our Democratic Discipline family meetings, we all shared responsibility for treating each other with civility. Instead of lectures and shaming, the children learned by parents’ modeling the desired behavior. Hence, the kids were, say, never taught manners; instead they were treated with courtesy. They matured considerably sooner than their peers. They are now in their forties, with college degrees and successful in their careers & happy families. This 18-year “research” is my argument that no extra patience is necessary, only understanding the basic goodness of a child, and respecting that. – Norm Lee